Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Wacky Wednesday

I couldnt think of a better title for todays Blog as when we got to work Loadshedding hit us from 8am-10am so we sat around in the dark..yeah..note the sarcasm.
But, it gets better, Eskom ( South Africa's electricity provider ) has decided that they need to put the price of electricity up by a whopping 56%!! Can you imagine, I havent had electricity at home and at work for this whole week so far and now they are putting the price up? Im not normally a negative person, but this country is going downhill, and fast.
While our President is sitting on his ass in New York at some conference where he is going to repeat that "There is no problem in Zimbabwe" Now Im sure even my friends from other parts of the world have heard whats going on there.
I rest my case.

Ok, thats enough venting for today...must think positively, must think positively...

I missed Greys Anatomy last night because of loadshedding...ok, now thats my last vent... :)

I have been thinking alot lately about what I am doing with my life and where I am going. For those who dont know, my parents immigrated to New Zealand 3 years ago because of the sorry state of this country, and I decided to stay behind because Ryan was busy studying and I was going to wait for him. So, its been 3 years now and I havent studied because of reasons beyond my control. But lately I have been very down as I feel like everything is slipping away and the rest of the world is going on without me. Its an awful feeling.
So, I have decided to go to New Zealand next year to start my studies, even if Ryan cant come. Its such a hard decision to make and I still dont know whether or not its the right thing to do, but I do know that I cant live with feeling like I am losing grip on reality and the rest of the world.
I have always needed to have goals and achievements to keep moving forward, Im not the type of person who can just cruise through life, I need to know where I am going and I need to use the full potential that God gave me to fulfill my dreams/needs/goals. I cant explain it, but I feel like I am going to waste? It probably sounds crazy to others, but its driving me mad.
Plus, I havent spoken to my family in over a month and my mom is sick and my sister is starting High School and my other sister is in the process of getting a job as a flight attendant and my little brother is only 4 and growing up so fast. I feel so out of it and disconnected from my family. And we are a very close family, my mom is my best friend, so its so hard.

Ok, I was supposed to have stopped venting, but I needed to get that out.

Cant say I feel any better though, so I am going to go and find something work related to do to try and get my mind of all this.



Unknown said...

i think you need to do what you feel is right. especially if you miss your family and you feel like you are not reaching your full potential where you are right now. follow your heart!